I’m noticing a lot of blogs about the deaths of Bernie Mac and Isaac Hays last week. Some people think that death comes in 3′s. In this case it was black entertainers. But the man who made a good living mumbling ‘Summa ma’ bitch’ and a cartoon chef that sang about his ‘chocolate salty balls’ didn’t have to worry about over crowding on the bus to eternity this time. There was no 3rd dead black guy.

What happened?

‘Death’ fucked up. I think Bernie Mac was supposed to be the 2nd death and Hayes the 3rd. Why?
The 1st to die actually took a wrong turn… Literally. On August 4, 2008 Morgan Freeman was driving down a rural road in Memphis, Tennesse. He suddenly lost control of his car and was hospitalized with serious injuries. Since then has been released from the hospital and doing okay now. BUT HE DIDN’T DIE.

When I spoke to The Grim Reaper he confirmed that he in fact had flown to Memphis to meet with the Academy Award winning actor but things did not go as planned.

“We had an agreement. Mr. Freeman was scheduled to die in 2001 after the release of Nurse Betty. Lots of people were calling for it. I just couldn’t get to him.”

Freeman has several films in production slated to be released later this year and in early 2009.

“We spoke and I promised him I would come get him when the time was right. I’m not too sure there will ever be a time as good as now. The Dark Knight film has been killing…. No pun to Mr. Ledger. It would have been a good time for Mr. Freeman to die. Go with dignity. If the timing was right we’ would have taken him this month so he could be remembered as a great actor. James Dean and I have lunch once a week. Mr. Freeman is old school. He just wants to live. I hope he turns down The Bucket List 2.”

As for Freeman’s performance in his latest film, The Dark Knight, The Grim Reaper says he was not impressed.

“Lately Morgan just plays Morgan in all his movies now. He can’t even make that believable.”
Representatives for Freeman were not available for comment.

“Next time I am trying to kill a famous black Hollywood celebrity in a rural Tennessee road and get away with it I’ll be dressed in a white hood and robe holding a burning cross.”

The Reaper regrets not handling the event differently but assures the public that this will be one of the best years for his career.

“I have lots of Hollywood clientele I’m working with. I’m speaking with Amy Whinehouse’s people and Dakota Fanning has a good movie coming out this fall…”