One thing I should take into concideration next time I get offered a gig on Friday the 13th…. It's on Friday the 13th!
I spent the day in Mexico. I had a Coporate show to do for a large distributing company.
My job was to act as a translator for the presidents of the company and completely talk shit about them in spanish while they continue the “presentation”.
It went well concidering we had to fight the evil forces since the day began…
Today I was a hired comedian, actor, translator, caterer, & a janitor.
7:30 am: I wake up and can't find my wallet. –
8:00 am: I can't find my nice shirt and tie. I throw some clothes into the laundry. I still can't find my wallet. –
8:30 am: I get out of the shower and I call my agent and tell him about me not finding my wallet. He says “Don't worry, just take a birth certificate and social security card. I'll call you back, I lost my car keys…” –
8:45 am: One of the Presidents of the company calls, “we're on the way…” –
9:20 am: We can't find the bridge leading into Mexico and circle around for 5 minutes. –
9:30 am: We get our business/maquilladora permits at Mexican Customs. I have to beg because they need my Photo ID, which is in my wallet, which is somewhere other than where it should be. –
9:50 am: We are driving around Juarez. Lost. All we see is graffitti, tire shops, and Sponge Bob pinatta shops. –
10:05 am: Acting as a translator… I speak to the front desk receptionist and ask for directions. She gets the directions from a man I hear in the background speaking in English. It is then translated into spanish for me who then translates it back to English. –
10:20 am: The directions were wrong and we end up in the mountains. We are all scared and hungry. –
12:00 pm: We finally make it there and try to go over the “presentation”. The caterers are refused entry at to the facility because they did not get the proper permits at Mexcian Customs. –
12:10 pm: One of the Presidents of the company, himself drives the caterering van into the facility and we begin bring in the food and setting things up. –
12:45 pm: It is now 45 minutes after the meeting is scheduled to start, the people are just starting to come in, they are restless, and the food is cold. The caterer sits outside on the curb waiting for us. The meeting begins and I start translating everything into spanish. Before I get into bad mouthing the Presidents, one of the people interupts and says that everyone there speaks perfectly good english and that not having me translate will speed things up. The “presentation” is now in danger of being completely ruined. Fortunately, somebody feels bad for me and says that I should continue. He begins talking about the North American Free Trade Agreement and it's effect on distribution on both sides of the border. I translate into Spanish: “This gringo is going to keep me here and the food keeps getting colder and colder.” Laughs. We continue for about 5 minutes and it goes over well.
2:00 pm: Everyone has eatten and are all happy. I mingle around and the Presidents are everyone's best friend. Some still didn't know it was all planned. They speak to some of the employees and managers about business stuff. I keep eating and mingling with the others.
3:00pm: We clean up the entire meeting room, take all the catering things back to the van, and drive back to the bridge where we spent about 30 minutes and talked to all the street vendors about the trinkets they were selling.
I got paid very well. I had fun. It was all worth it. I would do it all over…
But still, Who says show business is glamorous?
And where the fuck is my wallet??!?!?
Thanks Casey & Jerod. It was fun.
