It's one week since my friend Craig commited suicide and I just finished going thru all of his computer disks to see if there was anything I should give to his daughter or save. Earlier I went to my friend's house to sort thru Craig's things and organize them so we can start giving them to the people he asked us to in his letter. Saturday I heard that his body had been creamated and they were going to let his daughter decide what should be done with them. It's hard to know what a 14yr. old is going thru when she has to decide what to do with her father's ashes. But I feel better. The closure is coming and at least I know I do have friends that truely care and that are willing to drop whatever they are doing to make sure I am ok. There's alot of people involved with this now and I have yet to speak to his immediate family. I am only going by what he had told me and what I've read in his journals. I recieved an email from his daughter about four days ago and I replied, but I haven't gotten anything else. I just worry about his daughter. She was the reason he lived as long as he did.

It bothers me to know that there are alot of women out there with custody of their children and they make it so difficult for the men be good fathers. Not all men are bad. Some of have spines and sensitivity. I hate the fact that the courts automatically believe that the mother is the best parent for their children. I hate to think that this will happen again to somebody that I will never know. Not all men are assholes and bad fathers. Some of them just run into problems in their lives and wives should remember the vows, “Thru thick and thin…” It's so easy to quit a marriage nowadays. I hear people say that all the time: “It's not working out, I'm thinking of getting a divorce.” I know it's not just women. But this was a great man who loved his daughter so much. He talked about her all the time, I read his journals and that's all he wrote about. He loved her and he gets treated like shit because he doesn't have a job. Because he couldn't pay the child support. I worked with this man, and he was a hard worker, a great worker, but he just had problems. HE never got the help he needed but HE got letters from the court about every other week. His daughter loved him and she lost him. What a shame. What happend to this world? What happend to the times when marriage was about love and not money? This is something that happends more than we think. And I'm not trying to bash women, but damn, it's a terrible shame that a man and a great father is dead because he couldn't afford to send his entire check out to his ex wife. Not his daughter. His ex wife. Becareful with what you think is good for your kids, you might be making the wrong decisions. Rest In Peace Craig. I love you.