Archive for » August, 2002 «

Thursday, August 29th, 2002 | Author: Charlie Moreno

    So I'm at the comedy club yesterday…. Yeah, I went on stage last. There were about four people in the audience… Good times. So I do my act… Lots of laughs… sure, I just didn't hear them very well. And I just didn't care too much. So I do some “blue material”, the “R” rated stuff. What do I care? Right? I mean the owner was in the back counting her money, she's not paying any mind to this stupid kid from El Paso, Tx.
   So I say… “Hey! I was reading the newspaper… yeah, I can read. So, I read that some doctors seperated a couple of one year old siamease twins. And I was thinking… Two 1 yr. old girls… Joined at the head. At the head! Damn, I bet R. Kelly would've loved that!” They laughed… Then booed at me. Then I laughed. So I closed it up with some Andrew “Dice” Clay: “Speaking of pediphiles… I was fucking my little sister the other day… And I broke the crib!”
They fuckin' laughed! I got the hell off the stage before I got shot. I was walking out and the owner stops me. “I've been watching you since you started coming here.”
I say, “I haven't had a set that good enough to make me CUM… here.”
She laughs and says, “Come back on Friday. I'll put you on the show. I can't pay you, but I want to see you on a real show, with a real audience.”
I said, “I'll try to be here.” And I walked out.
So here's the good part… I'm walking towards Broadway from 45th St. In the heart of Times Square. I notice a big comotion at Planet Hollywood, so I stop to see whats going on. There's a “Who's Who” party there and the red carpet is out. The limos are pulling up and dropping off people. The cameras are flashing, the people are going crazy. Then who comes out!?!?!? Chris! So I say, “Bitch! Paint my house!” And he turns around and looks at me… “CHARLIE! What up!” And I shake Chris Rock's hand, and I leave.

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Friday, August 23rd, 2002 | Author: Charlie Moreno

So the other day….
I'm sitting here, at the internet cafe downloading music and two cops come running into the building yelling at us to evecuate the buiding. It took what seemed like a couple of seconds before everyone started grabbing their shit and stepping out the door. As I got out of the buiding there were about two hundred people walking in the same direction. The street was covered with people, it was crowded, it looked like Woodstock. There were about forty cops telling us to walk towards 38th st. When we got there other cops were telling us to keep moving. It turned out to be a “suspcious package” across the street… Near the Empire State Builing. It was crazy, I had my excitement for the day. There were cops, fire dept. ambulance, even helicopters. Black Lincoln Navigators, with dark tinted widows, men in suits and sunglasses. I think they were feds.
So I try to call home… Nobody's there. Then I went to work. I'm telling the people at work about what happend. We listen to the news… nothing. I call Andre, he says there's nothing on the news. Then I get a call on the radio from one of the managers at work… “Charlie, we need you at the 2nd floor, Paradise theatre… We have a situation.” So I run up there and I'm thinking there's a fight, or a baby crying in the movie theatre. I get there and there's a manager coming out of the theatre with a fire extinguisher. I go in and some asshole had lit the curtain up. We call the cops and we go outside to talk to our security guys, I see two cops at the side of the building, with flashlights, tapping a cardboard box. We tell them, “We put the fire out, it's inside.” They say, “What fire?” We're checking up on a bomb threat that got called in. We need to check all the garbage cans and dumpsters.” Fuckin crazy! So I waited, they came back and I filed the report.
There has been tight security everywhere in the city. I woke up the next morning really early just to read the newspaper. There was nothing about the bomb scare. NOTHING. Like it never happend. I've had some dreams about something happining, I see a building on fire and the debris is falling to the streets. It's raining and the subways arn't running. I don't know what, but something. I'm with someone I work with, I don't know who. At the end I see a girl walk into the subway station, it's the N train in Queens. And I'm tryin to stop her. Then I wake up. It has been a crazy week. I had a job interview yesterday. I didn't take it though. Ok, gotta go. CIAO!

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Thursday, August 15th, 2002 | Author: Charlie Moreno

I burned cd's all night and then my friend Andre wanted some, so I made him a couple. This is great. I'm probably the most proficient homeless person in America. I love my life. I love me. Ok, I better go to work and deposit my paycheck. Ooh, I work with a hottie tonight, yummy! CIAO! Hey, wanna see my dog? My drunk doggie Ok, bye!

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